Happy belated Christmas everyone! I Hope everyone got what they wished for and enjoyed quality time with they’re friends and family👨👩👧👦My Christmas was full of tears, vomit, hallucinations, paralysis and absolutely agony. But despite being so poorly, begging for relief and in a crying mess I stayed out of hospital. And although I couldn’t go down to Devon on holiday with the rest of the family, the day was still special and as perfect as it possibly could be for me and my wonderful mum. Mum opened my presents while she watched me cry with happiness over my lovely gifts. We chilled. Mum ate her Christmas dinner on the sofa while I attempted to eat mine in bed. She sat beside me so she could throw me the sick bowl while I puked. We laughed, we cried. It was just the two of us, but it just seemed so perfect. It was heartbreaking to know that I was responsible for splitting up the family for Christmas. (The holiday was booked when I was feeling better than I am now) it was weird without my brother, but it couldn’t be helped;it was just not meant to be.
I did first think this Christmas would be awful and should be cancelled this year, because I wouldn’t even be able to tolerate my family being in the same room as me constantly chatting over each other and having bright lights on because of my noise and light sensitivity. I wouldn’t manage sitting around the table because even that is over exerting myself and too much for me. But then I thought…No. Hang on. How can I make the best of this despite my situation? How can I make this memorable!
I wore Christmasy pyjamas, I was cosy and warm. I had ice packs on my joints, hot water bottles to stimulate the blood flow, I had pain and heart meds to keep me as relaxed and as comfortable as I could be. Most importantly I had my best friend by my side, my very own super mum! I felt blessed. I felt thankful. I looked at the Christmas tree and just smiled while old memories flooded my brain and my dreams shot through my skull. It was so magical. I may not be at all healthy. And I’ve been stuck in one room for months. But I’m alive, happy and just really really grateful for still being here.
Who needs the stereotypical Christmas party’s, alcohol, and millions of expensive presents to have ‘fun’.
Mindfulness, dreaming, family and the future are the biggest money can’t buy gifts life will ever give you. You’ve got to treasure and not take them for granted to make you feel the luckiest person alive. The best thing about it is that these gifts are life long gifts, and can be embraced 365 days of the year. Think of them as a unlimited hamper of joy and an everlasting dose of wisdom.
Make the small things count.