New Year, Better Me!

On the 31st of December the clock strikes midnight and everybody cheers “Happy New Years!”-As the door of 2016 closes, the door of 2017 opens; it’s the perfect time to reflect on past events over the last couple of years…

Two years and three months ago I was able to just about live my second best life, instead of a dance career I went into fashion design and studied it at college until I physically couldn’t. – I was unwell, I struggled.. But I made it 3 months in. I may have been 8 weeks behind everyone else, but I made it happen. I made a memories. And I made sure I made the most of it, seized the moment and captured it.
Not long after that, little did I know that my life/ health would have plummeted, intensified in severity and spun completely out of control.

I went from fashionista fanatic to 100% bed bound PJ princess in a blink of an eye. That then brings me to this present day. Hospitalized; 10 months (and counting) 🏥I’m tube fed, paralysed- so much has changed. But what hasn’t changed is my will power, my strive for perfection, and who I am.

 I refuse to give up on both myself and my future no matter how unpredictable, agonizing and frightening it may be. Although ‘trust’ is a big meaningful word, and it needs to be earned. I trust that life will guide me onto the right pathway to continue my uphill battle- to serve my true purpose on this planet. I trust it will continue to give me strength to carry on, store blocks of much needed wisdom to grow in my brain, and most importantly, I trust life will give me time to reach my true potential in many aspects of itself; to reach my ambitious goals in my own time and ways and so much more than that..

I trust life will give me hints on ways to live instead of just surviving. 

I had my 18th birthday in hospital in August. A lot of people said “well done for making it to 18” and “congratulations, you made it to adulthood!” and it made me think…

My god, I did it!

I survived! 

I’m alive.

I’ve stared death in the face on two occasions and I’ve lasted 18years on this earth🌎 

I’ve faced enough challenges and endured enough hardship to last a lifetime.

I may not have achieved what I planned… But I’ve achieved so much and even the impossible… In only 18 years. It sounds so much; but 18 years is nothing. 

It’s only just the beginning of a unpredictable but exciting adventure and many years and milestones ahead. 

Anything can happen, that’s what excites me. It keeps me going- it’s my reason to keep strong and fight on. 

If you fear the future it will hold you hostage. If you’re optimistic you can be free🕊 ( even if your future isn’t medically and scientifically bright) why be a prisoner of the nest when you can fly away? 💭✨

Typical Phrases such as “New year, New Me” or “New year, New start” don’t really apply to those with chronic illnesses. We will unfortunately go into the new year with the exact agony and sickness we were enduring throughout the last year. At midnight on the 31st of December we can’t banish or erase our illnesses and pain. We can’t plan the year ahead. We can’t jump out of our broken bodies and run away from it. 

But, what we can do is become a better you. We can find ourselves and our purpose. We can go into the new year and begin a fresh chapter while reflecting on our previous ones. We can build upon our foundations and become a stronger, happier and more intuitive version of ourselves. We can turn negativity into positivity and choose how to recycle our previous experiences in order to fight with all our might! 

If we put our mind to it we can accomplish all our goals, hopes and dreams-we can conquer and we will succeed in the year of 2017 🎆