It’s Okay NOT To Be Okay.

Hey you, yes YOU! Are you sick of being sick. Or tired of being tired? Me too! It’s a totally normal reaction to feeling basically alien compared to ‘normal’ physical or mentally healthy earthlings. Crying, anger, negativity and frustration isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of staying strong for way too long. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself. It’s okay to feel as if you’re unable to carry on caring on- our lives are beyond tough, but you are so much tougher! “It’s okay not to be okay” as Jessie J says, but it’s not okay to not have an off day. Grieving over your old life, or grieving in general..believe it or not, it does you good! It’s also common (and expected when you have to live a life battling against your body, mind or both!) Whether it’s mental or physical, without an occasional off day we would never learn what a good day is. We’d never know the difference between happiness and sadness. Most importantly we’d never know how to deal with our emotions, especially individually.. We’d never know what makes us happy on a sad day and we’d never come across or explore self expression, self care and self love. The 3 S’s are imperative in our life in order to survive a terrible day. With the right tools we can turn anything horrible and bad into something good or great! You can do this💪🏼 love, care and express yourself and happiness won’t be far away✨
Yesterday’s example:*takes selfie* 

I look kinda good today, if it weren’t for tubes no body would realise I was really sick. I feel kinda great today-I’m full of confidence, I feel pretty and despite being in agony I am content with my body and how it looks. 
In all honesty yesterday afternoon I look absolutely well and truly awful; the tables have turned. I’m beyond exhausted, running on empty. I didn’t go back to sleep this morning after my meds like I’d usually do. I’d sleep in til 1:30pm have my meds chill a bit and sleep again. I’m usually ‘awake’ by 4-5pm. 
Every inch of my body hurts so bad (as it does everyday) my stomach is cracking and popping- it’s my natural alarm clock meaning “drain that bile now before you explode with vomit and scream for hours on end because it’s built up too much”, I’m swollen all over, my nerve endings are as hyperactive as someone persistently being tasered by the police, It feels as if I have barbed wire wrapped around my muscles; it’s tangled, every move I make it embeds deeper into my lifeless limbs. It’s a tearing sensation, an intense throb all over and I’m being repeatedly hit and stabbed. I’m shivering from multiple seizures, my lips are blue and I’ve gone a translucent grey colour. I feel as if I’ve been left out in the pouring rain with nowhere to go. I can’t escape from this. I can’t hide. I’m imprisoned in my own body. 
Nevertheless, (as stated above) there’s always something good and great to compensate the horrible and bad in every day. 
My ‘good’ was looking brighter yesterday morning, and my ‘great’ is feeling body confident=chronically stylish💁🏼all day thanks to my mum helping me get changed into my lush sequin crushed velvet cold shoulder top! (I put the matching bottoms on two days ago, I have fashion ocd-I had to match!!) 
What’s your good and great? What made you happy today? (even if it was a terrible day..) comment below to find your hidden happy😌✨
Top Tip-Try writing 3 things your grateful/happy/thankful for, for 21 days. Your mindset, situation or mental health diagnosis may change for the better due to consistency and repetition. 
It’s worth a try🙌🏼

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